We met in December of 1997 at a house party thrown by someone who was a friend of separate friends. Both of us were on the heels of pretty intense break-ups with our long-time significant others and weren't exactly in the best emotional shape to jump into a new relationship. On top of that, Eddie was only in town for a week before he had to head back to school 6 hours away. But for some reason (fate?) we were drawn to each other at that party and have been together ever since. After spending all but one of his remaining days in Montreal together, we decided to go ahead and try to give the long-distance thing a shot. Pretty bold move for people who barely knew each other. Everyone around us was skeptical, throwing around the opinion that it was a "rebound" relationship for both of us that was doomed to fail from the get-go. Amazingly, but not without a mountains of enormous phone bills and many miles wracked up on our cars, we made it work for over 2 years.
When Eddie graduated from university in 2000 he came back home and moved in with me. I can still remember counting down the days! I had graduated the previous year and was working at a job that I loathed. We lived in a small apartment downtown for a couple of months and then our lives took another turn. He got offered a job in San Diego, CA. This was the first of many life changing decisions we eventually made together. With nothing really tying us to Montreal, we decided to take the plunge and move to the US. Another bold move, this time for two people who hadn't even lived together for more than a two months!
Upon our arrival in San Diego, we made another huge decision, one that shocked many people and got us in deep trouble with our families once the truth finally came out 5 months later. We decided to get married and keep it a secret. The reasons why we did it were so clear at the time and yet seem totally murky to me now. Part of it was because I needed to have a visa to legally be allowed in the country (he obtained one through the company he was going to be working for) and by being married I could get a "spouse's visa" quickly and without hassle. But another part of it was because we were so incredibly happy to finally be together after 2 and a half years of waiting. It was as if we were so crazy in love that we wanted to do everything all at once. So just 4 days after our plane landed in San Diego, we went to City Hall on Eddie's 24th birthday and tied the knot. No one was there but the justice of the peace and a girl from the office that they brought in to be a witness. The decision to keep it a secret was made because we were afraid of being judged, afraid that our families would disapprove or feel left out. While I don't regret getting married at that time at all, I do regret keeping it from the people that we love. But that's a topic for a whole other post...
When we did finally tell everyone what we had done, they were quite disappointed in us, and once again skeptical that we could make it work. But boy have we proved them wrong! In 2001 we bought our first home and filled it first with a couple of dogs and later in 2004 with our first child. In 2006 I got pregnant again and low and behold, another major decision was made, this time to move back to Montreal. In June 2006, after 6 years in the US, we made our way back to Montreal and finally it seemed like everyone could see how strong our relationship really was. In September of that year our second child was born. And now, after 8 years of marriage, I am once again pregnant with another beautiful baby. Our family is growing and is happier than ever.
Our relationship has had its ups and downs just like any other, and when I think about it, we have definitely gone through a lot in the past 10 years,
including dating long distance, getting married, having kids, home buying and selling, and job gaining and losing on both of our parts. And yet, our relationship is as strong as it has ever been and I honestly believe that we will grow old and gray together. I cannot for a minute imagine my life without Eddie. And I really don't want to. I think that for us the secret is that neither of us have really changed. We are still the same people we were back when we met at 19 and 21. We were sure of who we were and what we wanted and that hasn't changed, even a decade later.We are hoping to renew our wedding vows for our 10th wedding anniversary in 2010, this time surrounded by all of the family and friends that support us and love us, as well as our children. I never got proposed to, never had an engagement, never had a wedding dress, never got wedding photos, never got to dance a first dance. Given the chance to do it again, I would love for that day to not only be about Eddie and I, but about the family we have created. I would love to not only make vows to each other, but to our children as well. It would be so beautiful. And if I had a choice, this would be the song I would play as our first dance. I'm not a Shania Twain fan by any means, but these lyrics really couldn't be more appropriate, don't you think?
You're Still The One
(When I first saw you, I saw love. And the first time you touched me, I felt
love. And after all this time, you're still the one I love.)
Looks like we made it
Look how far we've come my baby
We mighta took the long way
We knew we'd get there someday
They said, "I bet they'll never make it"
But just look at us holding on
We're still together still going strong
(You're still the one)
You're still the one I run to
The one that I belong to
You're still the one I want for life
(You're still the one)
You're still the one that I love
The only one I dream of
You're still the one I kiss good night
Ain't nothin' better
We beat the odds together
I'm glad we didn't listen
Look at what we would be missin'
They said, "I bet they'll never make it"
But just look at us holding on
We're still together still going strong
(You're still the one)
You're still the one I run to
The one that I belong to
You're still the one I want for life
(You're still the one)
You're still the one that I love
The only one I dream of
You're still the one I kiss good night
(You're still the one)
You're still the one I run to
The one that I belong to
You're still the one I want for life
(You're still the one)
You're still the one that I love
The only one I dream of
You're still the one I kiss good night
I'm so glad we made it
Look how far we've come my baby
1 comment:
Congratulations! Nice post!
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